- Staying friends after rejection reddit If you see no point in being friends with someone if they reject you, then you didn't value them as a friend in the first place. Everytime I took the offer to just be friends after being rejected, the girl just wouldn't believe that I didn't have ulterior motives. What ends up happening is when it’s one sided, the person thinks that they will eventually “win” the other person over. Also, you haven't said if you guys were intimate yet, but just because you don't want a FWB situation doesn't mean that he wouldn't consider it. Stop whining about it on Reddit. the guy will have/had feelings for you and probably would continue to have them making things awkward for you both Also don’t delude yourself into thinking being friends means you just need to be friends until he/she suddenly magically falls in love with you. For me, I could stay friends after rejection because once someone says no - it is a closed book on my end. Not everyone is cool with being your friend after getting rejected. You can say that you understand and ask if she’d like to have a friendship. If you keep being friends with every woman that rejects your sexual advances, you won't have time to bitch on reddit how you can't get sex from women. . I was an outcast and alone, shunned by roommates and ignored by people I tried to make friends with. I feel bad for him. There was lots of situations and things being said that felt like clear indications, but when I finally told him I'm Bi and asked if he was too, he flat out denied he was. If you’re genuinely interested in being her friend, but also still open to being romantically involved if she changes her mind, then that’s fine. But if it’s someone I’ve only known briefly and with whom I don’t have a long-standing friendship, no I wouldn’t. Best Luck! NTA. It is usually not to be taken literally. Depends, im friends with that one girl i got rejected from, yeah it hurt for a while, but now half a year later were still friends and im completely over her romantically. Every time we met, I would fall for her all over again. This guy needs to put on his big boy pants and grow up. For the friend I did remain friends with, her feelings remained, as she spilled the beans once that she had planned to sleep with me after a party we went to. I always thought maybe it's the way I "rejected" them was too harsh. Now, I say all that because you asked "how to deal with rejection". Back when she had a boyfriend, I didn't fall for her, because… 336 votes, 186 comments. You respect and accept her response immediately and try to maintain the same behaviour toward her you always have. A lot of women put me in the friend zone and I didn't know how to break out of that. A guy will be interested in us and either tell us and get rejected, but remain friends, or they’ll secretly be harboring feelings and attraction for us, but never say anything to sabotage the friendship. I’m pretty sure I’m an attractive guy and if I had to relive life I would 100% choose being a woman than a man. Pretty sure if I do the same I will be called names. Anyway, my point is that you can be friends with someone who rejected you. I would say 9 times out of 10 you bet the bank when you make the first move toward a friend. One gets interested in people not only because of their physical appeal, but also because they're interesting to hang out with. I have remained friends with women who have turned down my romantic overtures and with women whose romantic overtures I've turned down. Learn when to be honest, compassionate, and clear about your feelings and intentions. I tried joining a fraternity, but that went south too. She was open to being friends first but we ended up staying friends for years. To clarify she started all this not me it was neither our intentions for things to end up like this. So unless you can just turn off your feelings like a robot, i would say dont stay friends. Rejection is not as simple as a switch for most guys, the feelings will still be there so its better to cut it loose There is always a chance you can continue as friends, but confessing is also seen as a bridge you cant turn back on once crossed. Friends don't stop being friends if one of them doesn't want to go on a date. None of that is me being a bitch or a pussy or a dickhead or anything that would be considered bad. Yes, I’m friends with a couple of people like that The first I met online, we lived in the same city so we began to hang out, and we kind of just became platonic friends. In that case, probably cut contact for a little while (whether or not you tell her you need some space is up to you, and I think will depend on how close the friendship has been up to the rejection), take the time to purge the negative emotions, and then resume From my perspective, you have one of two options: tell him how you feel, how you were confused before, blah blah blah, and see how he responds. I then take a step back but she will initiate me to hang out or message me first. Because while I may not have a chance with him right now as a romantic partner, I value him as a friend and coworker, and I would not want to let something like this hurt our bond. The same thing has happened to me but I don’t think guys typically gain an attraction for someone from my experience, all the guys I’ve stayed friends with have just been friends. In some cases, someone may not be interested in you romantically, but would be interested in being your friend. Another is that it is possible that these feelings your friend has for you just needed to be expressed for them to disappear into nothingness (this happens from time to time. This was only a week after the rejection and months of me building up the courage to tell her how I felt. It really depends on how YOU handle rejection. After being outright rejected, I’m not interested in being friends, especially if I’ve started to develop romantic feelings. Most of the men I've stayed close with have found their significant others within 3 months post rejection. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. End it. But sometimes i wonder if she even wants to be my friend. You do not pursue someone in a relationship, nor your friend’s crush, mom or sister. One of my longest friends asked me out several times in very respectful ways, but I was honest and told him his dating habits made him a bad fit for me. It felt good. I've remained friends with a few old girlfriends after we've broken up and once or twice remained friends even after a how-did-that-happen one night stand we both regretted. Well, you seem to be affected by the friend zoning so maybe you need to step back, take some distance and time to swallow the bitter before coming back to the sweetness of your friendship. This is most cases with a lot of women and how we become friends with a guy. Simply put, he genuinely values your friendship. Because that delusion probably happens more often than being able to turn off the attraction switch and turning into a platonic friend. We instantly clicked spoke every day and have not… Here’s my experience: One of my friends had a crush on me and we went on a date and I just wasn’t feeling it. The way I rejected them was of course respectful and polite (I mean at least for my standards). After our date he told me he would like to date more and I just said, “sorry, I don’t really feel that way, I’d rather stay friends”. There are also cases (like the ones you mention in your last paragraph) where the person already sees you as a friend and wants to stay your friend even if you briefly had a crush on them at some point. I have always tried to stay friends and ask them to hang out as friends after, but most of them would just be avoiding me and acting super cold. However, I liked them and considered dating them to begin with because of who they are as a person - their personality, their traits, their habits - and that existed before me as well. I more or less stopped being friends with the other one because she wasn't very nice to me after she found out I wasn't interested in her. The "let's be friends" offer in that setting (when you aren't already established friends) is very often just a politeness thing and she has no real desire to strike up a genuine friendship. He Cherishes Your Friendship. I mean, if it's hard to stay friends with someone after a rejection, there's nothing wrong with listening to those feelings. "Let's stay friends" is a common rejection because it's a nicety that softens the blow. College was different. I see the men I know either internalize their frustration with not being loved into some toxic masculinity or just break down and admit defeat. Girl Friends (as opposed to girlfriends) would say something like "I don't want a relationship I just want to be friends!" Um! I entertained the idea of staying in contact with her as friends, but ultimately decided it was best to move on. Take rejection like a man and move on, and if she wants to give it a shot, then either go for it or don't. We clicked super well and I really liked him as a friend but I felt zero romantic connection. If you do decide to become friends, you need to be sure that you aren’t holding on to any feeling of “what if” and only focus on being friends. Take care of yourself first. FIFY!! Honestly he’s right. You do not then immediately go after any friend of hers unless she recommends you do so. But now I'm not sure, it hurts whenever I think of her, and I feel going back to being friends is just asking for further heart break. true. You were romantic interests, potential partners, not friends (unless, of course, you two were friends before you started going out). Way too many people act like things should immediately go back to normal, but that's not fair to the person being rejected. If being a normal friend is all she wants then she should not start flirting with me, and after rejection should not text me throughout the day. This is very very different than being rejected by an actual friend. However, if you think that when she will have other guys, sleep with them etc you will get jealous then it may not be for the best of you to stay friends. You're not a friend, you're a jackass. Ever since i told her how i felt she made less of an effort to hang out with me and she has become more hot and cold. Stop making people feel bad for rejecting someone's friendship after get their romantic advances and further more stop trying to reach out to them after rejecting them. The guy I met online early last year thanked me for being honest, apologized if he ever led me on, said he would respect my decision if I don't want to talk to him anymore but is still open to being friends. We are vulnerable and supportive with each other. So I tried being her friends again and honestly, it's not easy. Then maybe she will get jealous of you or perhaps she now wants you back. At some point she stops and says she wants to stay friends with me. It didn’t feel like we were dancing a dance to check each other out with fake waits and “too busy” schedules. Now, you're under no obligation to be friends with anyone. Just don’t pester her. I really wouldn't bother. Directly after rejection I cut off all contact, then after some time (may be 3 to 9 months, it really depends), if i am really ok with the rejection itself, I try to get on touch. com Feb 20, 2024 · Experts share tips on how to reject someone without offering friendship as a concession. From one of these dates I met someone who quickly became a good friend overtime (We both in early 30s). My current partner went all in about two months ago shortly after we met. But I realized that I didn’t even like this one guy as a friend even though I was attracted to him and stopped being friends with him eventually. We were good friends before, but after the rejection, we spent a few hours talking about our lives, and we actually got even closer. So far I've told her I need some space to deal with my feelings, then hopefully we can go back to being friends. The Navy has a tendency to move people around enough that you lose contact, especially in the Internet Dark Ages of the '90s. However, what will keep one pushing on even in the hardest of times is friends, especially close friends as it seems that you guys are. Let’s start with the most obvious one. Also, if they still have feelings, it will be hard to be around that friend and it will hurt them. I’ve never been in a relationship before but I don’t pretend to be friends with a girl in hopes they will date me. She explained to me why she doesn't feel the same because of her past experiences and her current emotional state. My biggest regret is not going with my gut and pulling back after that rejection. By being more selective about who you respond to, improve your profile and communication, and project a better version of you to the right people - which clearly you're not doing (and this isn't beating you up, here, I failed at this too before I got a better grip on filtering for what I want and learning how to relax and present a better me to dates). I didn't know how to approach dating nor seriously believe I can be in love. It sounds to me like this guy is really young and immature. We are both in our 40s. I have had instances where there isn’t any romance from the get-go or the fizzling out is mutual, in which case we do actually become friends. The tour was the 2016 River tour. I’m happy with being friends after rejection, because I still think she’s a great person and I wouldn’t want to cut her off just because she said no to a date. I'm so confused. Hey Reddit, I just made a throwaway account to ask for some advice. It seems like high school stuff. You can't 'stay friends' because you never were friends. I know it's hard and it will be painful, but life goes on and so should you. He doesn’t date because of this. HOWEVER, that said I wouldn't even classify that as rejection. Simple as that. Yes. It’s not a case of him just being secretly pissed and therefore he just forgot you in a snap as you put it, some people who have a pre existing relationship with someone as a friend or best friend or a work colleague like this situation here, when they shoot their shot and it’s a No for whatever reason a lot of people simply can’t return 24 votes, 36 comments. Got the "let's just be friends" rejection after spending an entire night together and then calling in sick from work the next day to keep the good times rolling Tinder/Online Dating The other night was something I never expected and it was almost like being transported back to when I was 22 and everything was new and exciting. Besides, while you are sulking and trying to get her attention, there might be someone out there who deserves all your attention and you could channel all It depends of the way you feel you can deal with it. those feelings always get in the way sooner or later. I don’t play these games. I have a massive crush on a girl but I’m still her friend and I always will consider her my friend. You need to have some separation after your rejection to lose these feelings you have for her. They used me and pretended like we were friends, but treated me like a servant. It never happened but we did make out. And I’m saying this as a leftist feminist not some incel lol. Long story short I met this girl last year online, Im 18 from the UK she is 17 and from the USA. Posted by u/obster12 - 2 votes and 18 comments And at times, you will feel very lonely and isolated because of it. I would explain it like that. and as the friend you are expected to sit there and watch and be supportive to me that So one day I decided to confess to her, to know where I stand. That was 1995. However, I had a lot of different friend groups and I didn’t let the pain get to me. So far it always works. Even after the rejection and the pain and heartbreak all I want for her is to be happy even if that means I'm never going to be the person that gets to make her as happy as she make me but right now I know I'm ignoring my own well-being for her own because I don't want to hurt her if I step away Edit: spelling I (33M) have a very attractive friend (28F), we've known each other for around 2 years. When someone says let’s be friends, I interpret that to mean, let’s end this without hating each other so if we meet in public we can be cordial. If you are totally okay and switch her to the “we are friend” side, then I don’t see any problem. This guy may have zero intent on staying buddies with you. After reading the rest of your post, stay the fuck away from this guy, bad potential partner and friend Part of it is due to any rejection being a bit of a slap in the face. Honestly, whether you can still stay as friends after rejection/breakup really depends on both parties. Maybe a year after we met I caught feelings so I made a move and she didn’t feel the same. I was always very sexually attracted to him and subconsciously became friends with him for over a year in the hopes that he would like me and want to be with me, but that never happened. Posted by u/JonothanFromTheFbi - 6 votes and 2 comments Staying friends with a girl you obviously have feelings for, romantic and sexual, while she doesn't, isn't a great idea. Sometimes I was and couldn't act on it for fear of rejection. She rejected me politely and clearly. I would definitely assume that person didn't care at all about the friendship if it happened to me, but shit happens, you move on. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. She saw I wasn't making a move so she invited me to her place and we started making out. I'd be pretty hurt if my friend didn't take the rejection well and just didn't want to be friends anymore - it would make me question how authentic that friendship was to begin with. the only circumstance where you should/could stay friends after a relationship rejection is if there was already an established friendship. I am not going to pursue them anymore. If I was already good friends with them before being rejected and still valued that friendship, I would absolutely try everything within my power to remain friends. None of that is me being "exaggerated'' or overreacting. I stayed friends after he told me he “didn’t have time for a relationship” despite my strong inclination to pull back. Unless you guys were already friends, before you decided you wanted to pursue her, then she might want to remain friends. Especially remember Rule 1: Be polite and civil. The other part is due to not needing that distraction in my life any more. After confessing and getting rejected she said she wanted to make up being good friends again but I find I’m very uninterested in getting to be her friend. 994 votes, 362 comments. He played the full album, which had songs like "I Wanna Marry You," "Crush On You," "Two Hearts," etc. That being said, I had a friend that wanted more than friendship. 4K votes, 539 comments. It have always turned out toxic and I haven’t been able to move on. So one day I decided to confess to her, to know where I stand. We’ve taken space after each rejection, whether it be me or him initiating it and always manage to somehow reconnect. They’re one of the people who knows you better than anyone else in the world; why wouldn’t you want to stay friends with them? The best romantic relationships always have a LOT more going on than just sex or romance. 3. You, her "close friend" just recently asked her out again, got turned down again and now you no longer want to be her "close friend" because she won't date you but she doesn't want to lose her "friend". Why is being a great guy the go to response for breaking things off gently instead of just being honestHearing the same type of rejection eventually sounds like a lie and it's seems like no one wants to come forward and tell the truth about why things really won't work. Furthermore, things will often take more from you than you will want. I was the one being rejected a few months back, and my friend acknowledged that it may have hurt me to know he didn't feel the same way, told me how much I meant to him as a friend, and since then things have remained totally normal - which is the biggest relief. Having a circle of female friend/s proximity does attract other women than simply being surrounded with guy friends,you probably haven't noticed or realize that other women are in the midst with you guys that find you desirably and you haven't noticed. Yes, women, it's possible for a guy to be friends after being rejected without having ulterior motives. Under normal circumstances, I am cool with just being friends but I am going through a lot right now and actively cut off negative things from my life. If anything, I probably wouldn’t ever talk about the moment I asked her out again, and just continue talking about other things. I haven't the faintest idea where she is now or if she's even alive. 1. Jul 25, 2023 · In this article, we’ll explore ten reasons why he might want to remain friends after rejecting you. So, again, my advice, stay friend with her, and I know that it is hard One time after being rejected, I went to a Bruce Springsteen concert that I had tickets to for weeks. I don’t need new fair-weather, needy, and/or opportunistic friends of the opposite sex. A subreddit to discuss and explore the dating process and learn from the experiences of others Being with friends with someone who has said they don't have the same feelings is not easy. After 6 months of knowing him, I was convinced he was bisexual too. If both of you want to remain friends, atleast tell her that you need some time without her to get over it. You have to stay just friends with someone you love and be the third wheel watching her get a man, get married, and have a family etc. I (20s M) asked out my crush (20s F) recently, and she ended up wanting to stay friends. You be direct and honest. But I don't think that was harsh. It's worse to try and stay friends after rejection because idk how, but it somehow makes you more hopeful because hey she still wants to stay close after all that happened maybe she's just not ready, tomorrow next day and forever. 2M subscribers in the dating community. It is good behavior (IMO) to move away physically and emotionally so you aren't stuck in a cycle of 1 sided infatuation and rejection. He is not over his ex after years, since before I’ve known him. I don't think there is really consistent idea what being friends means both in general and in particular after a rejection. So, I guess being single is a mindset of a negative attitude. A similar think happened to me 3 weeks ago when I had confessed to my friend after three months of being friends. Once you are rejected you don't want to keep staying around this person. One being you guys can stay friends as it isn't a promise of love. I don’t think you need to wait. The catch is whether she can do the same for me. I would say most people cant handle being friends after being lovers/having feelings. Not every relationship ends in betrayal. She just got out of a short relationship but we aren’t close rn so I don’t know what I should do. You'll constantly be reminded of the rejection and them not feeling you're not worthy enough for them. Do I still think about being romantic with this particular girl? Yes, from time to time. As long as the guy didn’t try to make any flirtatious comments or moves, I wouldn’t mind at all! I grow a big amount of respect for a guy who can handle rejection and still shows interest in being friends. 99% of the time, their feelings just get stronger and they eventually convince themselves that the woman is giving them "signs" that she's changed her mind and wants him to ask her out again. Luckily thanks to this rejection, our friendship ended up strengthening. But 9/10 times it just means: "I don't want to see you anymore". I agree so much with this. Often times this knowledge is too much for the friendship to bear. As I see it, becoming friends is the first step of any sentimental relationship. If they truly care about you, they should still want to be your friend. He blew up calls, texts, google chat…only for me to watch him be “ready” six months later with someone else. LGBTQ+ are welcome :) We also have a Discord server. But then after that, I'd leave her alone and move on. I’m just saying being alone is hell, being in a relationship is heaven, but being just friends is straight up purgatory. We could relax and sp If you keep being friend with every woman that rejected you - you just won't have time for anything else in your life. where one falls for an ideal or something and just expressing that to the person is enough to cause the EDIT: After I got married, I lost contact with that friend and have not talked with her since. After a few weeks, we'd already gone from friends to best friends within weeks of meeting in College. But on the other hand I don't want to ruin a great friendship. At this point I just stood up and left. It’s really up to you bro it’s in you’re hands what do you honestly want to do at this point she gave you an answer already and at least now you KNOW but if you’re ok with being just friends that’s totally up to you to decide or you can just move on to someone else and not waste time on someone who’s not romantically interested in you r/Crushes is a safe place for people to talk about their crushes and ask for advice. I've actually found my best friend all of the girls he's wound up with, and that started with a rejection. 2. I have never been in a relationship and started dating online only about 4 years ago. I confessed to my good friend 1 month back. Stay positive and keep going! It's hard and demoralizing to get rejection after rejection, but you have to keep your head up! Think of every past interview as an experience for the next one--types of questions, how to communicate that energy, etc. See full list on wikihow. Most of the time "I just want to be friends" is a way of softening rejection. There is this girl whom I am interested in but she wanted to stay friends. I’ve been rejected by every person i liked and many of them asked to be friends, but those friendships usually don’t work. Be polite and courteous to each other. The only time I didn’t end up never speaking again because of the pain we just kinda ended up as aquaintances instead, only speaking every once in Stay friends or cut off guy friend who rejected me romantically Hi all, A couple of years ago I worked with a guy and we quickly became close friends. She was a good friend of mine, and we cleared the air after the rejection, and I thought we were on good terms after that, because we did text each other once a while (stuff like how are you doing etc). Many people have similar experiences. I think you can still be friends, but it's perfectly reasonable if you need time apart after rejection. She told me we can still be friends but I should never fall for her as she only sees me as a friend. So, staying friends is the second best outcome. So glad I came across this post. Does it complicate relationship with other women? Forever you two will know that you like her, and she just sees you as a friend. She also said she wanted to stay friends and didn't want to ruin the friendship. For me I am never against being a friend, and I have also no problem being a good friend. Jan 9, 2025 · As a man I came to realization that saying "okay" or if you are really into her "okay, call me if you changed your mind" works the best after a rejection. Check "Community Info" in the top right corner if you're using the app, or use the old version of reddit by typing "old" in place of "www" into the URL and look at the top of the sidebar if you're on desktop. We used to get along so well. In general there is a wide range different kind of friend relationships ranging from I don't hate them to closest of friends. Note that this is a very different sentiment from "I see the value in being friends with you and I wish we could be friends but it just hurts too much right now". I think a better question is “Why wouldn’t you want to stay friends with your It hurts, it sucks, I may need to take some time to nurse my wounds, vent to some friends, whatever but they're ALLOWED to not be interested and they DON'T owe me an explanation. And it's why I always tell men not to agree to remain "friends" with women after the woman turned them down. Just because the romantic aspect didn’t work out doesn’t mean he wants to discard what you have altogether. I always made friends with guys but usually I wasn't attracted to them. I received a barrage of texts saying how sorry she was for leading me on but she still wants to be friends with me etc. I'm assuming you're talking about someone you've been friends with, wanted to take it to the next step, and got turned down. Unless she did something so terrible or betrayed your trust etc, this seems entirely tied to being rejected. We had known each other since Dec 2018 and has gotten closer during the COVID period due to various reasons. Either he wants to date you, or he doesn't, and if he's not interested just ask for a couple weeks to get over the rejection and then continue being friends. It doesn't put pressure on the women but potentially still gives the chance to one day come back. None of that is me being an asshole. naqvaz kre gbmacb hstm jhpnmjf iucsu dhqzl jinrwbmz sxjovl sccyqmxe xhukff vauzdsg tbhsr kyk wjwkmox